


Map Your Wares

by wackyjacqs



Series: Bizarre Holidays [72]
Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-11-16 09:22:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18091688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wackyjacqs/pseuds/wackyjacqs
Summary: Jack knew. As soon as the chief leader handed him and Carter a map, gave them a blessing and sent them on their merry way, he just knew that it was all going to go down.Or upside down. Whatever.





	Map Your Wares

**Author's Note:**

> Written for ‘Girl Scout Day’ (12 March).

Jack studied their surroundings and silently cursed the natives of PCZ-884.

They may have been one of the friendlier civilizations the team had come across in recent times, but they were also one of the more primitive. However, the planet had an abundance of Naquadah and while the locals had no use for it themselves, they were more than willing to trade with SG-1 in exchange for some medical aid and training.

It was one of the easiest negotiations to date. So, naturally, Jack knew it wouldn’t last.

And he was right.

He knew. As soon as the chief leader handed him and Carter a map, gave them a blessing and sent them on their merry way, he just knew that it was all going to go down.

Or upside down. Whatever.

Because the people of ‘884 had failed to tell the two officers about the various traps hidden along the trail towards the Naquadah mine, and by the time he’d realized his mistake, it’d been too late.

He hadn’t seen anything out of the ordinary, but then again, he had been distracted by the sound of Carter’s voice. He still wasn’t quite sure what they had been discussing; he just liked to listen.

So, by the time he’d stepped on the rope, the ground quickly shifted from under his feet and he found himself suspended fifteen feet into the air. As he tried to figure out his new bearings, a strange noise from the ground drew his attention, and he twisted to see a worried, yet slightly amused, looking Samantha Carter.

"Don't even think about it, Carter."

"Sir?"

"I mean it – I know you."

She sighed. "Well, with all due respect –"

"I don't want to hear it, OK?"

"But –"

"Carter! Just... just don’t."

"Yes, sir."

He nodded in response. Or tried to anyway. It was a little hard to nod or do much of anything when he was hanging upside down from a tree branch with a rope snagged around his right ankle. He tried to move and see if there was any give with the rope.

There wasn’t.

_"Damn it all to hell!"_

He threw his arms out by his sides in frustration and caught another glimpse of Carter as she deliberately avoided his gaze. He noticed, however, her shoulders start to move up and down.

"Carter? Didn't I give you an order?"

"Sir?"

"I thought I expressly ordered you _not_ to laugh."

She met his gaze but he couldn’t stay mad at her. Even upside down, the sight of Sam smiling at him was still one of the most beautiful things he’d ever seen.

"I'm glad this amuses you so, major," he quipped.

"I think I can get you down, sir," she replied as she moved to his right. "But it might be a bumpy landing."

" _Might_ be?"

"OK. It _will_ be."

"For crying out loud."

"I'm sorry, sir."

"Not your fault, Carter."

"No, sir. It's yours."

"Excuse me?"

"I said you should listen to me."

"Hmm," he answered noncommittally.

"And I told you not to laugh, but –"

"But I did. Why don’t you just say ‘I told you so’, one more time?"

"I told you I used to be a Girl Scout," she retorted. "I even had a badge for –"

_"Easy,"_ he warned. "And for the record, the map was in an alien language, Carter. Neither of us could read it properly."

"But I said –"

"Carter."

"You were –"

_"Carter!"_

"Holding the map upside down!"

"Yes, I know," he finally snapped. "Now would you just get me the hell down from here?"

"Yes, sir."

"And Sam?"

"Yes?"

"Not a word to Daniel or Teal'c," he ordered. "Understood?"

At her silence, he looked down and had to bite back a sigh as she smirked.

"Yes, sir."

He was never going to live this down.


End file.
